Techflow. Family

Tonight was thanks giving night.
Officially, Musical Play 2012 has ended.
It is finally time to move on.

And now suddenly the feeling is finally sinking in.
The IT'S-ACTUALLY-MY-FINAL-MUSICAL-IN-UNITEN-AND-ITS-OVER feeling.

4 years passed.
3 musicals participated
2 times directing
1 mission - to serve the Almighty God.

If were to ask me to give a sharing of my whole journey of this play, it might take me few days.
There are so much that I have learnt
So much that I have sacrificed
So much that I have gained
So much that I have realised

The song Potter's hand have really guided me throughout the journey:

"I'm captured by your holy calling

set me apart I know you're drawing me to yourself

lead me Lord I pray" 

It leads back to 2011 when I first became the assistant director. Without much thinking I accepted the offer, not knowing that it will be stressful and tiring. Then I was told that automatically the assistant director will be the director for the coming year. Assisting the director wasn't a tough job at all. I enjoyed myself in the presence of stress, focusing only on the casts. Right after 'What Faith Can Do' I was told to start thinking about the story line for the coming play.

I wasn't really in good shape in the year 2011, emotions and relationships flung everywhere, and I wasn't able to come up with anything at all. I was far from God, I shut myself down, I shut all the voices coming in. I shut my facebook down for 1 semester, as well as Techflow. I denied myself for being a part of Techflow. It took me a very long and tough time pulling myself back together again, that is when I felt the strong calling. The call to draw near to Him again. That is right after 'What Faith Can Do'.

After pulling myself back in one piece, I was given the second opportunity to serve in the Techflow commitee. Without any hesitation, I took courage and took up the position of Techflow's assistant secretary . There was when I grow and learn, indirectly preparing myself to for the future.

"Oh Take me, mold me, use me, fill me
I give my life to the potter's hand"

Being the assistant secretary, I learnt a lot about public relationships. Having a good relationship with high authorities of Uniten, it made easy my life. Student Affairs Centre is the 2nd most frequent place I go besides the foodcourt.  I got to know Ustaz Norrizan, Puan Syarifah, Encik Erwan, Encik Khalid and a lot more officers. They have helped me a lot in my term serving as assistant secretary of Techflow. 

Knowing all these people, I got to know the do's and don'ts that we have to follow for stage performance, Techflow got treated better, Quackathon tickets are allowed to be printed out 6 times more than the maximum amount that we are allowed to print. Blessings came along the way. I was given opportunity to represent Techflow in a lot of university level activities, molding myself to become a leader. 

Contented days doing God's work in Uniten lasted for quite some time. Sometimes I'll be discouraged, but the Lord has never failed to provide me the strength and the joy to continue on with this journey. This is the first step of perseverance that I have learned. To continue on the work even when obstacles came along the way. I submitted everything onto the Potter's hand. He helped me in times of trouble. And I have gained valuable lessons about friendship in the process.

"You gently call me into your presence

Guiding me by your holy spirit

Teach me dear Lord

To live all of my life through your eyes."

This is when the whole preparation of the play starts. Brain storming for ideas. I remembered the night so clearly where we sit down in BM study area, cracking our heads, giving stupid ideas, great ideas, funny ideas. We were there until the security guards asked us to leave. Me, Jason, Tjoe, Aaron. It was initially the 4 of us, till Aaron have decided to step down from script writing. I was angry for him giving up, then some time after that forgiveness takes its place.

We have decided to do the story of Joseph, but we didn't want it to focus on the dreams. We wanted to look at the story of Joseph at a different perception. Forgiveness was the only theme that we came out with, where Joseph forgives his brothers for all they have done to him. So I met Dr. Chua and proposed to him. Dr. Chua suggested perseverance as well. So I have finalized the theme of the play - "Perseverance and Forgiveness"

As we were the ones who set the theme, surely we will be tested before we teach the casts and announce to others about the theme. We had a very hard time coming out with the script. Face to face meetings, online meetings, skype meetings, and Facebook group meetings. We all tried our best to come out with a common time so that we can work on the script. Doing a bible story play is NOTHING easy. Each different person have different interpretations about the bible, and each of us want our idea to be in the play. So much to compromise between one another.

3 electrical engineering 2nd year / 3rd year students coming out with the script of a musical play. You know just by our course name how creative can we be. How much assignments, test, quizzes that we have every week. Juggling between script, Techflow and studies, it is really really challenging. 

We tried our best to follow the bible as much as we could. The draft of the play is ready, and I read it once. Oh God, this script is so boring. I could fall asleep reading it. I prayed to God every night, please God, make this play an interesting one, make this play an impacting one, please God, bring out the theme for everyone involved in this musical. Teach me dear Lord, to be the director that You want me to be, to direct this play through Your eyes. 

"Beautiful Lord, Wonderful savior
I know for sure all of my days are held in your hands
Crafted into your perfect plans"

It came to few days before the play. Everything is still in mess. Props are not ready yet, casts' acting are not up to standard yet, mic list not ready, video not done, monologue not recorded, background music not completed, keyboardist not coming over to practice with the casts, casts' not willing to skip classes for mic test, PA crew giving me pressure.

So this is the difference between the director and the assistant director. Being the director, there are so much more things under your responsibility. So much decisions to do, so many people talking to me at the same time, so many things to handle, yet so much more problems coming to my sight. At that point, I'm just a few more steps away from dumping everything aside in DSS, go back to Murni, switch off my phone and hide myself under the blanket until Thursday where musical is over.

I told myself: "Carmen, please don't screw the play, pleaseeee complete it, you have come this far, there are only few more days left, please complete it. Remember, perseverance and forgiveness. Live up to the theme, LIVE IT UP CARMEN".  So I ran out from the hall, found a little corner, and cry all I wanted to cry. That was probably the 20th time I went out to cry for my whole journey of musical play.

'Have faith, Carmen, that everything will fall into place, everything will be crafted into God's perfect plan.'

And it came to the night itself. I prayed, the casts prayed, the technical crew prayed through intercom, each department prayed. What else that we can do, besides having faith that God is watching over us?

Few moments after that, the peace landed on me. And I know that God is in control. The hall was slowly filled by audiences. VIPs, Alumni, CF from other universities, friends from different races and religions, lecturers, families, parents and international visitors. The night itself the attendance was full house. 800 seats filled.

Then the play started. There were hicups here and there, technical error happens, mic error happens. At one point I was devastated. I thought this play was a total failure. I thought it wasn't good. The only thing I am satisfied in was that the casts are really doing a very very good job. It was until after the play, when people start coming to congratulate me for the success, then only I know it was a success. Though there were small errors here and there, but the audience didn't notice them.

"Congratulations Carmen, it was a really good play. You have done a really good job"

I felt relieved. Not yet happy. 15 minutes before the play ends, I spoke through the intercom:
 "4 months of hard work, ending in 15 minutes. Thanks everyone." 

I could feel the emotions of Jason, Vivian in the intercom, the same feeling that I am having within me. I was about to burst into tears. That moment I got a back pat. I looked to the left as Alex is patting my back, and the moments of arguments that we had was flashing over in my mind. So much that all have gone through to make the play a success. On my right there was Douglas, staring into the blank space, stunned. That particular moment I really felt like hugging everyone around me. But I know if I started that move, I will not be able to hold back anymore and my make-up will be smudged.

I remembered someone asked me few days before the play:
"Hi Carmen, how big is the hall? How many audiences are you expecting? 100 or 200?"
"Hi, we are expecting 800 people to fill the seats."
"Whoa, that much? It must be a super big production, how about the budget? Few thousand?"
"Twelve thousand"
"That. Must be why you looked so stressed and tired"

Few minutes after I realize everything is over. Musical is over. And it was a success. I was happy. Then a weird kind of feeling started to crawl in. I feel sad.

We call it PMS, Post Musical Syndrome.

_______________________________________________________________________________

Techflow has been more than a club or a community for me. Techflow is my family. 

Thank you for all the love. Thank you for all the support.

It was really a nice experience. Writing and directing a bible based musical play. 

This will probably be my final Techflow musical play for my undergraduate life. 

I don't know where life will lead me to after this, I'll let time to reveal itself to me.

Thank you dear Lord for all that you have done.
Signing off, till the next time.