Forgiveness

I'm supposed to post about the musical play and all the PMS that I am having. But no. I'm not. Not now.

I wrote the script, I came out with the theme 'perseverance and forgiveness', I want it to be practiced among all. But as the director of the play, I personally failed.

The theme this year is very strong, and it speaks right into the heart. It speaks real loud to me, challenging me in all aspects. To persevere and to forgive.

Before the play, my ultimate aim is to learn about forgiveness, to forgive a particular person at the end of this play. I was reluctant to start the intensive week, because from last year's intensive week to this year's intensive week, it marks one full year of pain.

The play is over now. And I am supposed to be in Mid Valley now with the Uniten people from church. Then he wanted to come along. For 30 seconds there I hesitated real real real hard. Should I go, and learn the act of forgiveness, mingle around with his presence, or should I go back, as I always do, and save myself from all awkwardness?

At the end, I have chosen the second choice, to go back, save myself from all awkwardness and uncomfortableness. And I know I would not regret although I would really wish that I am there in Mid Valley right now, with all my friends.

Forgive me for being selfish. I know I fail. I just don't want to be anywhere near to him. To even hear his voice annoys me. I am not in hurt anymore, I have gotten myself out from it already.

Now I just don't want to step out from my comfort zone. I don't want to ruin my day.
I'm sorry my friend, if it causes any awkwardness at the other party there.

I'm just being selfish.