Too close.

Thou shalt not repeat thy mistake twice in thy life.

Once is pain enough.
I will not let the second time happen again.

Life is very subjective.
When everything is sailing smooth it can just turn around and give you a bite.

I have seen quite a lot.
Strangers turned into good friends
good friends turned into best friends
best friends turned back into strangers again.
In fact I have experienced it myself.

All because of one word : Communication

I would rather hurt one's ego telling him/her what I really feel
rather than accumulate and take it in
then burst like a volcano when it is time
Things will really get ugly.

I have not been such a loud speaker these days anymore.
I used to like gossips
until I finally feel sad.
Sad of why these things happening to the people around me.
Just because each refuse to express their thoughts.

It takes two to tango.
One sided communication is not going to work
Triangle communication is just going to make things worse.
Why can't one just reply?
It will just be a "Yes" or a "No"
Or worst case a "Maybe"
But at least one replies. 

Recent few months I've been getting closer with a friend.
And is kinda being dragged into some messed up situations. 
Although I am not the center of problem
But I really have that fear in me.
The fear that the past will repeat itself.

I pasted on my wall with a sticky note "Guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life - Proverbs 4:23"
I have been looking at it everyday
But I couldn't find a way to really do so.
No one ever taught me yet how to guard my heart.

I am scared
I am really scared
I am just trying to avoid sensitive topics nowadays
Unless some other people brought it up first.
Or else heavy metaphor shall be adapted in my conversations regarding sensitive issues.

Why can't we as humans treat everyone equally?
Why do we have to put more trust in some people
and hate some other people more?

I have been trying very hard to treat everyone the same
I don't want to have a best friend
Cause the word 'best' have its price to pay.

I might be paranoid
I might be selfish
I might look dumb
But I am just too afraid of that past.
Afraid that it will come back to me again.

Sometimes when things and relationships got out of the way you have planned them to be,
What would you do? 

Teach me how to keep neutral feelings towards everyone.
Teach me how to treat everyone the same.
Tell me how do I protect my heart
Tell me how can I prevent myself and the people around to get hurt.

 p/s: sorry I memang is the emo kind of person and this is already my very neutral post.