In this way I can grow each day

Know what? 

After today, I'll smile.
I don't want to let the emotions to take over me anymore.
There is no need for a reply on anything anyone has said.
For I know who I am accountable to.
To my Father in Heaven.

My days in this place will not be long anymore.
12 to 14 months more and I am done.

So, within these 12 months, I'll cherish whatever time that I have left here,
And I'll use it fully and wisely to do the things that I want to do, to enjoy my life as a student.
It is not because I think that this is a horrible place or this is a place with all horrible memories, that's why I'm counting my days now.
I'm counting my days because I would want to make full use of the days that I have, so that there'll be no regrets.
I love this place, the people here, everything about this place has been a great blessing to me.

Studies is forever not my first or second priority.
The first shall be God and second shall be family/friends.
But of course, studies plays a very important role too!
Education is something that I really emphasis on.
One who stops education after SPM and one who continues to tertiary level,
I can see the difference in the thinking and personality.
I don't say that it is definite that everyone is like that.
Of course according to one's life experience, everyone will differ.


On a lighter non emo note:
Old wounds will be brought up from time to time.
You can choose to mourn about it all over again
Or you can take it as a life lesson,
And not repeat the same mistake that one have done.
I'll choose the second one.

I have a habit, which is to give myself a duration.
A duration that I can be emo.
After that period I will not allow myself to be emotional, caused by the same old reason anymore.
For most of the times it worked, and for some, of course it will takes slightly longer.

Life is always a choice. Believe in Jesus is a choice. Choosing your own lifestyle is another choice.
Even if I am unhappy within, I'll still try my best to be cheerful and bring up the spirit of the people around me. Sometimes I would say that it is this mask that I'm wearing. The acting skill. Thinking twice, if it brings happiness to people, what's the problem? Why wear the sad face and go where ever you go?

I'm sorry for those whom I have troubled for the past 2 days. I've been stupid. I've been letting it influencing my most important week of the semester, the final exam period. Apologies if I've influenced anyone out there as well. Thank you for being good to me.

Life, there is so so so so so so much more to learn.
I'm glad that I've kept this blog, so that I will always be reminded about this journey that I'm walking through.

The things that has happened in the past are my teachers, and they are my level of accomplishments no matter it is a good thing or a bad thing.
I'm glad seeing myself growing more and more matured.
I'm glad for my ability to be able to express myself freely here.
I'm glad that I can keep track of my life in this way.
I'm glad that I can reflect myself with all the pasts jotted down here.
I'm glad that I can own my own point of view towards this world.
I'm glad for the gift of life. 


Smile, Jesus loves you : )